Family leadership may be the hardest leadership area to define. It may also be difficult for you to implement personal and organizational leadership traits at this level. But when you do, the advantages will show for you and your family group. Let’s start by determining which of the fifteen leadership foundations are the most useful in family situations.
First, your emotional intelligence goes with you on every step of every day. This is the leadership tool that allows you to react appropriately in all situations – and requires you to take a good look at yourself. Consider emotional intelligence the next time you feel like losing your temper at home. Next, communication is vitally important. Don’t “clam up” when you get home simply because you’ve been worn out as a great communicator all day! Your direction and coaching is also important for the family – take the time to show the way, especially where children are concerned. In relation to direction is your vision – you have to decide how you see your family and act to get them there. When you do, you’ll find that they discover empowerment. Finally, you must be adaptable in family situations – corporate priorities and demands shift readily, but the same family aspects shift more rapidly and more often. When you put all of this together, you’ll see how your effective leadership can be used as a family advantage.
You’ll set the expectation for the family. Sometimes family groups aren’t clear on expectations outside of going to work, going to school, or going to bed on time. When you take the time to explain, family members will have a clear understanding of your expectations. The other advantage here is that you’ll be able to turn it around and clarify what you can do for your family members. It’s a win-win advantage for everyone involved.
Just as expectations begin to clear up, roles and responsibilities will become clear, as well. Family duties will be ambiguous unless you take the time to communicate them. Providing direction to your family members gives you the opportunity to clarify roles and responsibilities. When the roles and responsibilities are clear, the family group moves forward just like an organization does. These roles and responsibilities can be as small as yard work or as large as taking care of an elderly or sick family member – and when you define them, you’ll see the advantage of a progressive family.
What about you personally? You can spend all day coaching and mentoring others at work or in community organizations, but coaching and mentoring the family is a little different. Just how different depends on your individual situation, but you’ll be able to hone your skills as you go along. Imagine the toolbox you’ll have when you’re able to coach and mentor on every level. In addition to this, you might find yourself in the advantage of envy: when your family becomes the best functioning and least dysfunctional on the block, you may have another opportunity to mentor.
Finally, your effective leadership provides the advantage of the big picture. Kids may have a hard time seeing around the responsibility that’s right in front of them. So to counteract this, you can spend time explaining what you see as the big picture. How is the family to function? What is the goal? It could be getting through a move, going on vacation, making it through high school, or adapting to having a grandparent living under the same roof.
Because family situations tend to become autocratic, that is, “because I said so”, your effective leadership might stop this. What are the overall advantages to your leadership? Your family will have clear roles and responsibilities, open communication, a great coach as a leader, and a big picture goal to work forward to. Even after one goal is achieved, you have the advantage of setting another one. Don’t leave your leadership skills behind at the organizational board meeting or in your corporate office. Take them home with you, be adaptable, and take the benefits of effective leadership in every aspect of your life.
